I Ain't Easy!
by Roguechere
Summary: Who knew the XMen read fanfiction? Rogue insists she isn't easy & Remy's pride takes a hit.
1. 1

Authors Note:Don't get me wrong I love you fic writers, this is just my idea of what my favorite character might do if she saw what some of ya think of her!! This is the first fic I posted on so it's short because I wasn't sure I'd be able to post it.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the X-Men. (Although I wish I did because Marvel does some DUMB shit with them sometimes!!)

I Ain't EASY!

"Oh mah!" Rogue exclaimed quickly closing the window to the fanfic she had been reading. "What's wrong with some of these people?!? I would NEVAH do that! ESPECIALLY not with the BLOB. Ewwwwwww." she began to cringe.

"What that chere?" Rogue jumped at the voice that came from behind her.

"I hate it when ya sneak up on meh like that!" she said glaring at the Cajun.

"Sure you do Roguey. I jus finished readin a fic that said you LOVED how mischievous I was."

"Well what do fanfic writers know!?!?" Rogue said crossing her arms in front of her.

"It that time of da month?" he asked and was instantly sorry he did.

"NO." she replied sternly. "I just think fan fiction is stupid."

"Some of them are good chere..." Remy moved his arm in front of Rogue and clicked the mouse, opening a new window. Rogue looked at the screen, where in big bold letters it read "CAJUN HEAT" with a summary indicating it was a Rogue/Remy fic, followed by an NC17 rating. Rogue, looked away blushing. Remy grinned.

"But that's what I mean Swamp Rat! I can't evah touch ya, or anyone. Yet these fic writers have meh paired up with every hero an villain we've evah faced, like I'm easy! I AIN'T EASY!!!!" Gambit's grin became even wider when he scrolled down the page and clicked on yet another fic. "What are ya grinnin' about?" she asked as she turned her attention back to the screen. And there- larger than life were the words "Rogue is Easy" followed by the pairings Rogue/Remy Rogue/Bobby Rogue/Logan Rogue/Scott Rogue/Magneto Rogue/Pietro Rogue/Lance Rogue/Kurt and an X rating.

"Didn even know they HAD an X ratin'." Gambit said laughing. Rogue shook her head furiously.

"I don believe it! These people are sick!! Scott's with Jean. Lance is a bad guy. Bobby's mah best friend. Pietro just ain't mah type. And KURT?!?! He's my brother for gawd sakes!! And I AIN'T EASY!!!" Rogue stuck her tongue out at the computer.

"Not to mention that Logan and Magneto are old enough to be your grandfathers...." Gambit added.

"Uhhh ya...well I thought that went without sayin' Sugah." Rogue was a little ashamed that she didn't CARE how old they were, and let out a sigh. Gambit picked up on this but chose to ignore it.

"Gambit notice you didn' complain none about US bein paired up petite." he said seductively raisin his eyebrows and sauntered closer to Rogue. "These fic writers may not know everything, but they have SOME good ideas, non?" He began tracing her covered arms with his fingers and let them slid down to her hips. Rogue relished this, the little signs of affection that would go un- noticed by most other couples. But Rogue and Remy knew better. However, she couldn't pass up the opportunity and grabbed the computer mouse. Gambit heard a couple of clicks but chose to ignore them.

"Remy?"

"Ya chere?"

"Are you sure it's really meh ya want?"

"Why you ask sumthin like that Roguey?" He looked up at the computer screen to see "A Cold Night in the Bayou" with slash warnings, a Gambit/Iceman indicator and an "R" rating. Gambit's mouth dropped open while Rogue fell onto the floor laughing'. "I AIN'T GAY!!"

This fic has been re-posted & modified. ROGUECHERE.


	2. Part Deux

Rogue lay peacefully on her bed, when she was awoken by a slew of french swears. Her eyelids fluttered open to see Remy staring at her computer screen.

"Oh no Remy not Again." she groaned sleepily, turning her face back into her pillow.

"But I wasn' even in da movie! Do you know who dey be pairin' you up wit'?"

"Nah Remy 'n' I don' care! Ya don' like it, go read the comic-verse fics." she replied, throwing the pillow at him. He ignored the action and continued on with his previous ranting.

"Logan, Bobby, John, Scott, Jean..."

"What?" she yelled jumping out of the bed and stumbling over to where Remy was sitting.

"Now dat could be interestin'." he said with a devilish grin. Rogue slapped Remy on the shoulder. "Wha'? You can't blame a guy for bein' interested!"

"I can 'n' I will."

"Oh, but are ya sure it's MEH ya want, sugah?" Remy said imitating her southern drawl.

"Hmph." Rogue was looking at the screen scanning through the various summaries when she pointed to one. "There. I found one for ya. Now be quiet so I can go back ta sleep." Remy squinted, reading through the summary.

"How you know Remy be in dis one cherie?" he asked confused. With a sigh she turned back around and read it aloud.

"Can a red eyed devil save Rogue from self destruction? 'N' is love possible for the untouchable? Read and review." However, Remy still looked confused. "Well who else has red eyes Remy?" After processing all of the information, realization began to dawn upon our sexy Cajun friend.

"Ohhhhhhh. Remy guess der be more fics about him den he originally thought." Rogue just rolled her eyes and turned from him again. "Oh so dat be who Storm was making out wit! I understand now!" As soon as he had said the words out loud he instantly regretted them. "Not dat... it make a difference of course...cuz Remy not interested in Stormy...he only have eyes for his Roguey..." he said looking at her reassuredly. Rogue enjoyed watching him squirm while trying to recover from his previous statement. She knew he loved her and only her. If she thought any differently, he'd be one sorry swamp rat.

"Remy I don't mind any, they're just fan-fics. They ain't real." she said, rubbing the evidence of sleep from her eyes. Deciding she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep she headed for the washroom.

"Hmmmm.. Remy remember a time when his belle femme could not get enough of des t'ings." he said scrolling through the list of fan-fics.

"Ya well that was before they stopped posting NC17 ones." This made Remy smile as he got up from his seat and made his way over to Rogue who was facing the other way. "All the good fics with meh 'n' Logan were NC17."

"WHAT?" Remy looked like he had just been slapped in the face when Rogue turned around in the bathroom and smiled.

"Just kiddin' sugah." she said with a wink before closing the door on him. Remy continued to stand, jaw dropped, looking at the wooden door all while making a choking noise. It was with wounded pride that Remy tuned on his heels and made his way out of the room and down the hallway. He hadn't gotten very far when he came across Warren and Bobby giving each other a high five.

"Another one. Dude I don't believe it."

"I know." Iceman replied looking very pleased with himself.

"Well it makes sense, you and her used to be pretty close, didn't you? I'm starting to feel left out!" Angel chuckled slapping Bobby on the back. Remy raised his brow in curiosity.

"What you two be so happy about homme?"

"Oh nuthin'." Bobby replied innocently.

"Alright den..." Still curious, Remy turned the corner and hid out of view to try and overhear what they would say next.

"What was that about?" Warren asked Bobby.

"I didn't want to tell him about the new Marie/Bobby site. You know how jealous he can get."

"I AM NOT JEALOUS!" Remy exclaimed, storming down the hallway.

"No, of course not." Angel laughed. Remy was so angry he didn't even notice Logan walking in the opposite direction, as he continued to mutter to himself.

"Hey Gumbo, what's eatin' you?" he asked gruffly. He thought he heard the Cajun mutter something about Rogue being easy, but quickly disregarded the idea.

"Notin'." 

"Oh I get it. You and the River Rat got into a fight again." He said with a slight chuckle.

"Did not! Rogue and I are a perfectly HAPPY couple! We BOTH LOVE one another AND NO ONE ELSE!"

"Is this about those damned fan-fics again Cajun?" The gruff man asked. With a slight pause Gambit replied.

"Maybe."

"Gumbo when are you gonna learn that you've got nuthin' to worry about? Are you ACTUALLY worried that she's gonna turn to Bobby? Or run away with Scott? I mean, come on. She has more class than that and everyone knows she's yer gurl, including her. Besides, no one can touch you when it comes to the comic-verse." Logan added the last part rather absent mindedly as he patted Remy on the back. Remy started to feel better and then made a face as he absorbed what Logan had just said.

"De Wolverine reads de fan fiction?" he asked, more amused than anything. Logan gave a snort as he began walking in the opposite direction once again.

"Not since they stopped posting NC17 fics. Those were the best Logan/Marie ones." Gambit quickly spun around, shocked at the man's comment. "Hey, you may be on top of the comic-verse bub, but when it comes to movie-verse, I'm the king."

This fic has been re-posted & modified. ROGUECHERE.


	3. Remy's Fat Ego Sings!

Betsy Braddock, a.k.a. 'Psylocke' of the X-Men, was once a very successful super model. She knew all too well the importance of beauty sleep. So when she was awoken by the loud giggles of Jubilation Lee and Kitty Pride she was not impressed. Being a telepath Betsy decided to seek out the reason behind the girls' laughter. When she reached out with her mind and found it she had to stifle a giggle of her own.

Throwing on something a little more modest Betsy made her way down to the room the two girls were in. She knocked on the door and then let herself in. The girls didn't seem all that surprised to see her.

"Guess who just posted another chapter of 'Remy is the Greatest'?" Jubilee asked.

"Yes, well, it doesn't exactly take a psychic to figure that one out now does it?" That was Betsy- attempting to make a joke.

"You have got to read this! It's the best one yet!" Jubilee told her while clapping her hands and Kitty nodded in agreement.

"Rogue should like seriously consider having Remy committed."

"Believe meh I have." Rogue explained as she walked into her bedroom. "Don't y'all have ya own rooms?"

"Kitty crashed her computer again and my connection is too slow."

"Ya well just don't wreck mah computer. That's all I ask."

"We won't we promise!" The girls said gluing their eyes to the screen.

"And Betsy Braddock! I can't believe ya are joinin' in on these girls immature slumber partay!"

"Hey!" the two girls whined at the same time, but did not turn around.

"Oh but Rogue, darling! Watching your man desperately cling to his last shred of dignity is just too delicious to pass up on!"

"Then you're going to want to hear this!" Kitty exclaimed.

_..And than there was this gurl. She was very beautiful with long golden dresses…_

"I think he meant tresses."

"His grammar is appalling" Betsy added.

…_and sparkling blue eyes. She had a vury nice smile and was whereing a tight pink tube top and black pleather pants…_

"Pleather?" Kitty asked, scrunching her nose.

"He betta not be expectan' meh ta wear pleather!"

"It's totally not that bad chica! It can work wonders for a girl!" (Jubilee is way weird.)

"Stop talking already - I want to know how bad this gets!"

…_The girl walked up to Remy and leaned in to give him a kiss but Remy said "No. Sorry petite but there's only one gurl for Remy and he don' kiss no one else."…_

"Would ya get a load a this!" Rogue laughed out loud.

…_But the gurl was very persistent and kissed Remy newayz, even dough he didn't want her too… _

"Right, cuz he's just so damned irresistible!" Jubilee proclaimed pretending to swoon onto Kitty who giggled at her friend's antics.

"I don't think I can handle any more a this." Rogue told the girls as she walked away from the computer.

"Where'd he learn a big word like persistent?" Betsy added.

**Elsewhere in the mansion:**

…_After a hard days work Remy retuned to the mansion to find his Roguey waiting for him… _

"With what, a bat?" giggle

"Scott darling, did you just … giggle?"

"No, of course not Emma. Giggling is, one, not manly and, two, not characteristic of a leader."

"Why are you flexing?"

* * *

…_She was wearing a silky green robe with a pair of matching…_

"Should we really be reading this Robert? It's an invasion of a team mate's privacy."

"Hell YES Hank!"

"That's where I fear we'll be heading if we continue."

"What a great way to go though. Eh? EH?"

* * *

…_Remy kissed Rogue and she kissed him back! ..._

"What a dumbass. Cajun don't even know how to write a proper romance scene."

"Yes and I'm sure you could do much better. Now let us go to bed." Storm said as if assuring a small child.

"Damn right I could."

"Logan, please stop flexing."

* * *

…_Remy slipped his fingers under the nightgown…_

"Now this is getting good!"

"Oh forgive me Professor, the door was open. Did I come at a bad time?" Warren asked.

"What? No! I wasn't doing anything!"

**Meanwhile:**

"Ugh. ANOTHER Rogue and Remy fic! Honestly! Where's the spontaneity? Where's the originality? And what kind of a title is 'Remy is the Greatest'?" The lone X-Man pondered as he sat as his computer desktop. Tapping his fingers in frustration he wondered how he could fix the rotten day he had been having. That's when the idea hit.

Opening up a new text document, the mutant immediately started typing, a big grin on his face as soon as the words appeared on screen. 'A Cold Night in the Bayou 2'.

"If you want something done right – do it yourself Jean-Paul!"

THE END!

Thanks everyone. It's been a blast!


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